More Than Meets the Eye
by katbybee
Summary: Crossed Up One-Shot. Napoleon tells an injured Illya a bed-time story... Guest Star, Dixie McCall from "Emergency!" Don't blame me, blame my muse! (Discovered story was cut in half for some reason.) Please R/R Don't own, No cash etc.


"You, know, ' _tova,_ if you would stop insisting on getting yourself into these situations, we could stop having to make these little side trips." Napoleon Solo couldn't help but tease his friend and UNCLE partner just a bit, now that Medical had assured him that Illya would be fine.

For his part, Kuriyakin sniffed indignantly and shifted painfully in his hospital bed. "Well, yes, Napoleon," but you must admit, it was a small sacrifice in order to see Agent McCall once again. I am quite sure;" he added drily, "the two of you had plenty of time to catch up while I lay in that emergency room writhing in pain?"

Their banter was interrupted by Nurse Murphy, who entered, checked his vitals, smiled, and inserted some medication into Illya's i.v. She told him, "Only for sleep. I know you hate pain meds, and the doctor has indicated you may be released tomorrow." She smiled at the slightly-built blond agent and left the room, completely ignoring the older agent in the chair, other than to give him a smoldering look as she walked away. Illya snickered, assuming Solo's legendary charm had backfired on him with the pretty nurse. Solo, totally unruffled, continued the conversation smoothly.

"Actually, we did, ' _tova_ , and stop it. You know the doctors took very good care getting the bullet out of your leg and seeing to your pain. As much as you dislike Los Angeles, they are not barbarians there." The American chided his Russian partner gently, a twinkle in his eye. "Nurse McCall is the ultimate, ummm, professional at what she does!"

"On that, you will _never_ get an argument from me, Napoleon," his friend assured him. "It still amazes me that she has maintained her cover so well for all these years. She was recruited from—where, again?"

"Don't play dumb, Illya. It doesn't suit you. You know you just like for me to tell you the story. Very well, just settle in, and let your Uncle Tovarisch tell you a bedtime story as your medication takes you off to the Land of Nod.

As always, when injured, and _allowing_ medication to work; Illya was confused. His literal mind was combining with the fact that American idioms still baffled him somewhat.

"Uhhh…Napoleon, 'Uncle Friend' makes no sense whatsoever, and where in the hell is the 'land of nod' and why would I want to go there? I am quite comfortable at the moment, thank you."

Napoleon merely laughed and began the tale of the true first lady of UNCLE:

Major Dixie McCall had been in Korea as Head Nurse of a M*A*S*H unit for seventeen hellish months. She had been due to rotate out twice already, but had opted to stay, because she knew the doctors and the soldiers there needed her. Her father was angry with her decision, but she felt she was right. On the night of the final bug out of her unit, she stayed with some critical patients who could not be moved. This was not an unusual move for nurses of her caliber during wartime. But it didn't quell the fear, or make the consequence of her actions any easier.

Major McCall and three other nurses and two doctors were captured by the North Koreans. The truck they were riding in was bombed in the middle of the night on their way north. The survivors; one doctor and two nurses, escaped into the jungle. The other nurse never made it out of the jungle. Though the other two tried hard to save her, she had apparently been severely injured.

The doctor, one Lt. Col. Joseph Early, and Major McCall, made it to an Army supply depot, and were sent on to another M*A*S*H, where they were both treated and eventually evac'd to Seoul. Dixie was awarded her unit's citation, and Dr. Early, already a top-notch neurologist, went back home to Los Angeles and private practice—not knowing he would day be reunited with his old friend. Major McCall had been in UNCLE's sights for some time at that point. She was recruited straight from Los Angeles, not long after the end of the war. In every training situation UNCLE put her into, Dixie McCall excelled. She was tough and canny. She beat records long held to be unbeatable, and indeed, many that were not beaten until Napoleon Solo came along a few classes behind her. The two had met and become fast friends when he discovered she was completely immune

Her experiences in Korea are something she never discusses with anyone—not even her closest friends.

The rest, my dear tovarisch, you know. She obtained her position at Rampart General Hospital upon completion of her training with UNCLE, and has remained one of our most valuable assets to date."

At this point in the story, Napoleon roused himself from his musings over one of his favorite agents, only to realize his "bedtime story" had indeed succeeded. Illya Kuriyakin was fast asleep; gently navigating, despite himself, the Land of Nod.

A/N: In "Emergency!: The Wedsworth-Townsend Act" (The Pilot Movie) It is established that Rampart's Head Nurse Dixie McCall was in Korea, and received her unit's citation. The rest of the story is pure AU creative license on my part.


End file.
